august is coming bitch 😭 fuck school: 4 reasons we hate school

okay so hi: i deleted the long introduction but ive like put it at the end of the post. basically august is coming, hating school is a more and more popular theme on the server and i only have 1 month left from my break, so this is a pretty relevant theme right now: why we hate school (update COMMENT YOUR REASON TOO, IF U HATE SCHOOL CUZ I WANNA KNOW <3)

1. not being comfortable in general. 

so i just dont feel comfortable, because how we are seated is our tables are like for two people so you gotta sit next to someone right? well that someone is randomly selected (selected by the teacher) and i always have some poor hygiene ass bitch sit next to me. like one picks their nose and then eats it. other one acts like taking a bath is luxury. disgusting, i just CANT.

2. teachers

okay... so why does one want to be a teacher? for the pay? NO. for teaching kids? SOMETIMES! bcuz they are fucking losers who have absolutely no power in the real world so they live out being power hungry by legally controlling our life for a few years? YES!!! i have anxiety because of teachers, they are always super personal, and i hate EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. like this teacher at the end of fourth grade got angry at me because I DIDNT SIT NEXT TO HER ON A FIELD TRIP. SHE WROTE ME SOME CREEPY ASS MESSENGER TEXT, DELETED POSTIVE STUFF OR COMPLIMENTS. thats how my anxiety started. then in 5th and 6th grade teacher saw that i was struggling SO THEY CALLED IN MY PARRENT AND THREATENED TO ALERT AUTHORITIES. now why you might ask BECAUSE I WAS GETTING C's AND WAS SKINNY. LIKE I HAD THIS OTHER SKINNY CLASSMATE WHO WAS ARGUABLY SKINNIER THEN I WAS CALLED MARCI BUT HE WAS SHORTER SO THE ILLUSION WAS LIKE "OH HE ISNT THAT SKINNY" AND I WAS THE ONE PICKED ON BY TEACHERS. so like 6th grade was LITTERAL HELL. anyways thats all for the second reason.

3. pressure

so we go into school and, learn and THEN HAVE TO LEARN AT HOME TOO. RIGHT? WRONG! WE HAVE TO LEARN AT HOME TOO THEN WE GET HOMEWORK TOO. THAT MEANS BASICALLY DOUBLE THE WORK AND IF SOMEONE HAS TO LEARN SOMETHING BECAUSE GUESS WHAT: MAYBE THEY DONT GET IT THEY EVEN HAVE TO DO HOMEWORK WHICH RESULTS IN THEM LOOKING IT UP AND SKIPPING THE ACTUAL LEARNING PART WHERE THEY'D ACTUALLY GET THE KNOWLEDGE FROM. also your whole life kindof depends on your schoolwork so thats fucked up and the fact THAT TEACHERS TAKE POOR PERFORMANCE, NOT HAVING HOMEWORK PERSONALLY JUST ADDS TO THE PRESSURE. 

4. not giving a fuck

i personally think it would make a lot more sense if basic stuff like writing, multiplying, adding up, divinding, reading wouldve been teached at home and then we could go into school AND LEARN WHAT BASIC KNOWLEDGE WE NEED FROM A SUBJECT TO GET INTO THE PREFERED UNIVERSITY BECAUSE THEN I'D LEARN STUFF I ACTUALLY NEED OR WANNA LEARN. also you'd be like BUT OMG WHAT IF SOMEONE WANTS TO GET A SECOND DEGREE AND NOT IN THE SAME FIELD? they go back to school, like some reschool or whatever or THEY LEARN IT THEMSELVES AND THEN TAKE SOME KINDOF TEST. thatd make a shit ton more sense wouldnt it? 

anyways thats it for todays post, thx for reading <3

 scrapped intro: hi guys. so august is coming and i think i already have posts about how i feel about school but many of them had to be deleted bcuz of the whole sensitive info thingy. and 1 month is all i have left of the summer break so lets celebrate that by talking about my problems and other people's problems with school. also recently not going to school or being pressured by school has been a pretty popular thing weve talked about on discord so yeah, i feel like this is a relevant theme. so  before i go into the theme theres this asshole in groupchat of my friendgroup and omg im so done with him like hes litterally the reason i cant write shit there or talk about how i feel or what i need. i mean its not like i'd dump shit on them but being able to communicate with them more honestly would be a lot lot better. also one more thing, ive been seeing real activity on the server recently that i dont need to be involved in! people are supporting each other and thats just what i wanted!! so yeah, im just really happy about that. okay lets get into the theme: why i hate school, why others hate school:

4:51 am

hi. so i didn't really sleep last night, i woke up at 2 pm today... recently i havent been sharing stuff as much as i used to. like from now on i will do this thing where very sensitive topic posts are up for a day then reverted to draft. anyways that was like a little funfact cuz i wont take this one down. so i have this very nice friend and ngl i kindof opened up to her about stuff i feel, think, and she's just really nice. idk how she manages but she's always up till like very late in the morning and weve been chatting till 4am. but that was on the night before last night. and before that till 2am. yh so its kindof crazy, and i just couldnt sleep until 4am today. so i suddenly had this feeling as i heard the rain hitting the window, seeing how the sun is already coming up and i havent gotten a single minute of sleep yet. but it wasn't just negative. it was a mix of hope fear and just not giving a fuck. anyways i immediately thought about how i would explain this to yall so i decided to document it. heres a few pictures videos sound, this is what i saw and felt like and idk why like anyone would give a fuck but i just felt the need to describe it and show it. anyways now i will talk about very little things: such as i actually didnt plug my phone into my computer, instead i sent all of them by gmail to myself from my phone. and also i had a hard time sharing the video recording since i had no idea i had to manually place it into the files app and instead searched for it for like 10 minutes and thought im dumb af hahaha. also there was a message in the chatroom which was kindof the peak of my day since its already 3pm... but yh... today i still might go out, and just ride a bus alone cuz the weather just fits my prefered weather when riding buses alone. might start raining too. for first readers basically i love riding buses while its raining (but like the good kind cuz the all plastic one is loud and smelly and shitty, like the glassy one. like in my other post (i had to take it down due to people being offended) i even talked about how i got on a special like wood-red fabric themed bus. was crazy cool cuz it was the good kind and even a better kind from the good kind. what a shame that they decided to go with the ugly ass theme. whatever. ppl just cant stand nice things. probably wood theme was like an extra 1000 bucks / bus and u know since they got millions to buy new ones they defienetly (notice how i cant write defienetly? i also had to look up imedietly but now i know its immediately so i guess i learned smth too today but i dont have the energy to look up defienetly rn, instead im writing a fucking paragraph about being shit at english and not wanting to google a word like why am i so weird) so anyways lets continue: they defienetly didnt have the 20k to like make travel comfier and better in general. lets not even talk about the neon lighting on that bus, why cant they do warmer lightning that doesnt hurt ppls eyes? anyways so yeah that will be what i will do today. also i accidently (okay so this word has that red line under it too which means that i cant write it properly but i wont look it up rn, maybe later.) so also i accidently ignored my crush today so please kill me yall 😭 oh wait sorry I IGNORED MY CRUSH 3 DAYS AGO AND NOTICED TODAY AGINJUGRASJINGRSAIPNJRGSAIPNJGRAINPJARGIPNJGRASPNIJU.

anyways here are the pics vids and stuff and thx for reading <3 also this is like my first longer post in a while so thats cool... also i made a new tag called "media attached" so thats cool too. oh lil fun fact i gotta upload the vid to yt to upload it here since bloggers video player is like from the late 2000's, but just for fun i will upload it both ways and we will see what happens. i mean, atleast i have smth to put on that yt channel after the storm video. anyways thx for reading fr this time <3 

video and sound recording is at the bottom

picture of my window

picture of my window 2

picture of my cat

video: blogger version

video: yt version

sound recording couldnt be put on vlobber, thats on dc

happy ending, chatroom, small thingys

 hey guys, recently there was some massive drama in my friendgroup cuz i like didnt like go with my friend to like one of the most dangerous place in town, despite her like never asking me before and like only mentioning it once and i litterally thought as a joke so she was like doing major drama. but anyways i said sorry she forgave me so thats great. also i recently created an anonymous chatroom on this site where yall can like talk since on the dc server anonymous confessions is like not really good for like talking, + someone complained that they gotta sign in to google when trying to comment, thats fixed too. anyways also i only recently realized that i didnt even thank yall for 300 views and its at 360 smth rn so thx so much and yeah... not much to write about today.

took a break, so sorry... update on my current stuff

 hey guys, im back, and i wasnt active on the blog or on the community and its completely my fault but this will change as i promised rn. so quick update, and why i wasnt like available:

idk, i was exhausted mentally and i just really couldnt talk or smth cuz it was my brain shut down. my irl friends kinda disappointed me cuz i was kinda looking for someone like me thats like screwed up and hates people for no reason and stuff (or i mean lots of reasons but lets not get into details) and i just couldnt so yeah im like too screwed up to have a match

and i feel so guilty for leaving many of the people that were reading this and seeking help on the server behind, and it wont happen again, not if i can help it.

fun fact, ive got no half sibling on the way so atleast i wont be like totally broke and yall know how material i am, or i mean not really cuz i took many of the other posts down because of how much info they had that couldve got me into trouble. and i know i said i'll put them back, but i wont because the censored versions basically contain little to no info or message that i was like trying to give to the readers.

anyways this is a change, a new era, and i'll continue like i began this community / blog

oh and also LARRY 😍❤️

reading my posts back while rewriting them, my anxiety

 so as you know, i recently took all the like deeper posts down to censor sensitive information... but reading them back was... well an experience. some i just cant believe i posted. maybe its positive? like looking at myself in a new way? idk. i didnt read the posts before just posted. didnt even go over them. i guess you could say i was pretty reckless, sharing so much personal info on here, and i just couldnt let it stay... i think its my anxiety. anyways thanks for reading...

working on the game, nothing to write about, taking off a few posts and like rewriting them into censored version

 nothing to write about, im just currently working on the game i mentioned previously, i will show a preview tomorrow... and im taking off a few posts and like rewriting them into censored version... anyways somethings happening but idk like whats gonna happen today so... yeah i will write about it tmrw <3

meeting up with friends, working out, insecurities, silence between songs

 hey guys. today has been an eventful day, and probably one of the greatest i had in a long time. i mentioned that friend group that has that one unwanted person in it... well we just hanged out and he didnt come, and i felt really good ngl. i also met another person called kata, shes a pretty nice person. we had lots of fun. although i had this commitment like a week ago that i'd work out every day and... well i didnt. anyways [removed part about insecurities] anyways i also discovered this album called silence between songs like a week ago by madison beer and ive been listening to it non-stop... its really great. anyways back to my insecurity,i feel so bad that i might actually work out today and tomorrow and actually try from now on. only sometimes i forget and break my streak and lose courage... anyways i'll do it right after i finished this episode of the witcher (the last one) and i might not so if u see this and read this please dont stop bothering me until i work out😭 thx for reading <3

(edit)

i never thought of madison beer as an artist, but this album changed my perspective about her work.

FUN FACT:  i just realized that this blog is basically unviewable from a  smartphone. like not unviewable but u have to like move the page so it fits ur screen, sry about that. a web designer recently joined our server, hope she doesnt see this lol.

also, silence between songs cover looks really cool... it just gives me a nice feeling too... idk... 

100 blog views

 hey! i just wanted to thank yall for more then a 100 blog views... it feels good knowing there are actual people seeing what i write or how i feel... the community has been going great too, its good to see that there are multiple conversations now where im not the one that has to start it... so that great. if u are seeing this then thx for being here...

talking about my mental health fr this time...

 you know it pretty funny how despite this being a mental health blog ive been talking a lot about everything else and only a bit about mental health... so here i am actually sharing how i feel to people... i have great difficulty with opening up cuz it feels like attention seeking... i didnt even recognize my problems a few months ago i just lived with them... but now i feel differently... sometimes i wish people would just notice. to go into details i have anxiety, panic attacks and just feel really lonely. despite having friends none feel like i can open up to them... anyways i might go into detail later why i feel how i feel but yeah, thx for reading. also u can comment if u click on the title of the post and scroll down which i only recently found out so yeah i encourage yall to do so!! 

the community, summer break, trying to make pogácsa again

 hi... in the past 2 days i spent a lot of time with this blog and the community that ive been building and its been a really positive experience with now multiple members... althought recently ive been feeling a bit sad... is struggle with anxiety but it has been a lot better since school has ended... but the thought that i will have to return in a months is really saddd... anyways i might talk about that later but lets focus on something more positive. like i began watching a series called the witcher... its ok... also im making pogácsa again because if u read yesterdays blog u will know why. anyways thats it for now. thx for reading. btw yall can comment too...

baking pogácsa (hungarian baked thingy) and power outage

 so as u saw in my previous post there has been a massive storm. just like that, around 20 minutes after posting it power went out. fun fact, we were litterally baking pogácsa, but its baking stopped resulting in it being undercooked. btw pogácsa is a hungarian baked good. anyways so meanwhile we welcomed another member and while i was waiting for the power came back i had a little chat with him about having a cat. later on power came back anddd thats it. we are putting them back into oven, maybe its not too late to cook it a bit more? either way, we started cooking dinner too. thx for reading.

and a random pic of my cat.

the beginning and the storm

hi guys. first id like to start with a thank you... as i said im really struggling with stuff and making this community and seeing how people joined has been really a help, and also giving back that help, supporting the people joining, talking to them... there are already like 6 people or smth... its a great experience and i will keep doing it. gotta say i feel a lot better and a lot less alone... to thx. btw the city where i live theres a massive storm. whole lot of rain and wind. i even took a video. as you can see it wasnt too nice to the construction next to my house or the workers as u can hear loud noises and shouting at the end of the video. by the time im writing its still just like that but the clouds moved a little and its not that dark now. cats dont like the sound of the rain, they are pretty scared. anyways since this platform isnt too nice i had to upload the video to youtube so i could share it... thx for reading. 

 

welcome, the first post! INTRODUCTION,BEGINNERS GUIDE

 hi. i created this blog and community to be a safe place. i struggle with lots of shit and this is for people that do too. join discord here im glad you r here. if u feel alone just like me and other people here do this place is for u. even if u arent lonely and just struggling. this is truly a safe place for everyone. daily posts coming from now!  hey so just a quick introduction: im dave and i'm a teenager ive got the black cat thats the face of the community love madonna and struggle with mental health. its 2 am so im going to sleep but we are going to talk about that since thats the point of the blog.