i realized that i havent made a post dedicated to this and this sortof changed overtime as i made this community. anxiety is such a big challange for me, and it sortof returned in these previous couple of months. which is why im glad that this community feels like refuge for me yet again because there were times when it did not. i think also over time you become somewhat partially immune to anxiety, which i know sounds dumb but is true in my opinion. so i often lay down listening to the ying yang self meditation by charlotte adigéry which i have embeded in my blog SO MANY TIMES already but if u dont know what it is you can look it up. i listen to the instrumental and talk to myself like charlotte does. also if i cannot just lay down and relax i just while whatever im doing just making myself sure. finding solutions for myself. that its gonna be alright. this is the most powerful method. also if you can, just go home, take a big bath, get cleaned up and feel cozy and safe. surrounded by people you love. maybe your cat? comfort foods? this is how i deal with anxiety. so lets say you get really really bad anxiety and you are free so you can go wherever. this is what id do: tell yourself how its gonna be okay why whatever you fear will not happen, why its not true and why you dont have to worry about it. also i forgot this previously but SCALE IT DOWN. you wont die from it, your life will continue which you can always change. get home, take a big bath, eat, listen to whatever you like, cozy up. although i have had a very different aproach previously. i took a regional bus, traveled out an hour to the middle of nowhere, walked out to a field, and layed down with my headphone on. that worked too. the fact that the sun wasnt shining also helped a lot.
also dont laugh at me but for me, this song does anti anxiety wonders. once i will write about how i got to know this song
well thanks for reading, pride month music friday special coming tmrw <3
hi. so i didn't really sleep last night, i woke up at 2 pm today... recently i havent been sharing stuff as much as i used to. like from now on i will do this thing where very sensitive topic posts are up for a day then reverted to draft. anyways that was like a little funfact cuz i wont take this one down. so i have this very nice friend and ngl i kindof opened up to her about stuff i feel, think, and she's just really nice. idk how she manages but she's always up till like very late in the morning and weve been chatting till 4am. but that was on the night before last night. and before that till 2am. yh so its kindof crazy, and i just couldnt sleep until 4am today. so i suddenly had this feeling as i heard the rain hitting the window, seeing how the sun is already coming up and i havent gotten a single minute of sleep yet. but it wasn't just negative. it was a mix of hope fear and just not giving a fuck. anyways i immediately thought about how i would explain this to yall so i decided to document it. heres a few pictures videos sound, this is what i saw and felt like and idk why like anyone would give a fuck but i just felt the need to describe it and show it. anyways now i will talk about very little things: such as i actually didnt plug my phone into my computer, instead i sent all of them by gmail to myself from my phone. and also i had a hard time sharing the video recording since i had no idea i had to manually place it into the files app and instead searched for it for like 10 minutes and thought im dumb af hahaha. also there was a message in the chatroom which was kindof the peak of my day since its already 3pm... but yh... today i still might go out, and just ride a bus alone cuz the weather just fits my prefered weather when riding buses alone. might start raining too. for first readers basically i love riding buses while its raining (but like the good kind cuz the all plastic one is loud and smelly and shitty, like the glassy one. like in my other post (i had to take it down due to people being offended) i even talked about how i got on a special like wood-red fabric themed bus. was crazy cool cuz it was the good kind and even a better kind from the good kind. what a shame that they decided to go with the ugly ass theme. whatever. ppl just cant stand nice things. probably wood theme was like an extra 1000 bucks / bus and u know since they got millions to buy new ones they defienetly (notice how i cant write defienetly? i also had to look up imedietly but now i know its immediately so i guess i learned smth too today but i dont have the energy to look up defienetly rn, instead im writing a fucking paragraph about being shit at english and not wanting to google a word like why am i so weird) so anyways lets continue: they defienetly didnt have the 20k to like make travel comfier and better in general. lets not even talk about the neon lighting on that bus, why cant they do warmer lightning that doesnt hurt ppls eyes? anyways so yeah that will be what i will do today. also i accidently (okay so this word has that red line under it too which means that i cant write it properly but i wont look it up rn, maybe later.) so also i accidently ignored my crush today so please kill me yall 😭 oh wait sorry I IGNORED MY CRUSH 3 DAYS AGO AND NOTICED TODAY AGINJUGRASJINGRSAIPNJRGSAIPNJGRAINPJARGIPNJGRASPNIJU.
anyways here are the pics vids and stuff and thx for reading <3 also this is like my first longer post in a while so thats cool... also i made a new tag called "media attached" so thats cool too. oh lil fun fact i gotta upload the vid to yt to upload it here since bloggers video player is like from the late 2000's, but just for fun i will upload it both ways and we will see what happens. i mean, atleast i have smth to put on that yt channel after the storm video. anyways thx for reading fr this time <3
video and sound recording is at the bottom
picture of my window
picture of my window 2
picture of my cat
video: blogger version
video: yt version
sound recording couldnt be put on vlobber, thats on dc
