hello.
so as some of yall might know i havent been posting recently and im sorry about that. well, atleast this post will be juicy. anyways so yeah this is like multiple posts combined...
short ass bitch, my goals
kay so yall know how i always talk about that fucking asian looking short b thats the most annoying person there is on the planet. and really no one notices except for me how entitled, calculated and manipulative he is? he really insulted me so many times that i just hate him now ngl and i tried being friends with him on multiple occasions blablabla its crazy. and lets not even talk about using random "professional" words in context that they dont make sense in, trying to look like some kind of genius. like one time he said "im partitioning the cells of a vhs virus" like what? anyways hes back at it again. i wanted to ask my friendgroup tonight to play amongus, this bitch was already there and idk i cant really tell u why hes a bitch unless u know him but actually, he has this... innocent physical apperance. very short, very asian full cheeks looking like a 5yo boy. so yeah idk but they are playing rn and im writing this and i know i have big expectations when it comes to loyalty and lets not even talk about the fact that im litterally the only one who noticed this about him BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS A NICE PERSON TOO until lately. anyways yeah. now about my goals ive been working out a lot lately so i guess a preferable physical apperance and health. eating better, thats something ive been doing too lately. then financial independence, degree, drivers license, stable income (not in hungary) idk how thats relevant but ive been thinking about it lately
writing music, inspiration
so ive been learning fl studio lately and actually, im getting better at it. so recently i started writing new music too - havent been doing that for a long time. and i was inspired by lady gaga's album artpop. so yeah i want to make a new debut single on a different name. and why will this be different? this production im working on will be so much more professional, layered, bettered that it will be crazy. its just really good and its going really great. so yeah i will have an artpop inspired debut single. crazy. but the weeknd's records inspired me too. so i was thinking about a pop-rnb song with hints of classic madonna production. anyways so whenever im writing music or making it im so immersed i just dont think of anything else. im going to do that a lot from now on.
2 weeks left, anxiety
okay so theres only 2 weeks left from the summer break and im litterally freaking out. i feel anxious again, have my panic attacks and just feel this endless anger. i really dont want to go back but i have to and it kills me ngl. i hate the teachers the rooms all the fake people in my class all being so kind and warmhearted towards eachother only to talk shit about eachother behind everyones back. i wish i could go in there and be like a ghost that they dont even notice... but its never that. i remember that feeling - when the teacher asks you, u reply wrong and she starts this personal rant. last time at the end of the year my biology teacher said everyone's year end grades happily but when it came to mine she said " b but you dont deserve it" or something similar but basically the same thing and i cant do that i cant go back, let them use me as a rug and then smile and thank them for teaching me. i dont wanna go. but this is what i say each year then i go and nothing happens. and lets not even talk about whenever i go in there, i worry about my apperance so much. but i dont care usually. or i mean i do my hear i dress up nicely but all the teachers asking me "omg have ive been eating enough" u fucking hoe yes i have been bitch im not starving im just skinny like why cant they just let me live in peace. whatever.
okay thats all for today i have a story time post prepared for tomorrow anyways thanks for reading
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